It's Wednesday, and I just cannot shake the sadness that's blanketed me. I figure that if I just start typing that maybe, hopefully, a little heaviness will be lifted from my heart.
So here goes: I woke up Monday around 6:30 a.m. to the low, rumbling sound of thunder. I could see through the crack in my mini blinds that the sunrise was masked by a blanket of thick, grey clouds. Great, I thought, a cloudy, rainy Monday morning. It's always more difficult for me to roll out of bed on the days when the rays of the east sun are not filtering through the curtains to greet me.
With hesitation, I left the warm covers and got around for my day. I sub at the schools often, but Monday was a free day. I got a cup of coffee and cleaned house for a bit. I was looking forward to the fact that my newest grand baby, Annabelle, was going to get to come cuddle with me later that afternoon while her mom went to the dentist.
I popped onto Facebook around 9:00 and my heart sank. Coweta schools were on lock down. Within minutes, I received messages from several friends saying that a student, a young boy, had shot himself in the bathroom at the ninth grade center earlier that morning. My heart sunk further and I felt sick. I began to pray. Within hours, the tragic story was out. By late afternoon the media arrived, and began to speculate as to why this young student took his own life----to put their sensationalized spin on this heart wrenching event.
There could be absolutely no way for anyone to fully understand why this student took his own precious life. The hopeless dialogue in his head, that probably played over and over died with him that day.
I only wish that he could have waited. I wish he could have gone outside that morning. I wish he could have sat on the grass, no matter how dry from the bleak winter, to hear the birds still singing in the barren trees. I wish he could have closed his eyes and felt the gentle drops of rain on his face. I wish he could have known that eventually, someone was going to take his hand. Someone with an umbrella just big enough for the two of them to take shelter under. I wish he could have understood that someone, somewhere was going to give him a knowing smile soon enough. And when they did, a sense of warmth, and hope, and love was going to come over him and help heal his broken heart...
I only wish he could have waited--- I wish he could have waited, because the sun came out later that day.
I pray for our young people today. I hope they know that no matter what storm they're facing, there's someone with an umbrella just for them---and the sun will come out again.